My Beautiful Birth

I was fortunate enough to experience an amazing, beautiful home birth and I had a great friend present who took some amazing photos. Here's my story .............

8th July 2011        Time: 5pm        Location: Sainsburys
We were doing the weekly shop, I had felt the occasionally twinge, OK they were painful, but I convinced myself they were just fake contractions even though I was 2 weeks over due to the day! Suddenly I felt a trickle down my leg, I blushed thinking either the weight of this baby bump has made me lose control of my bladder or my waters have broken! I felt another twinge, a hard sharp pain spread across my back, but still what if I've just wet myself, now that would be embarrassing!!! I've had enough "is this it" moments the past month. So I shrug it off and carry on shopping, every step feeling my legs get wetter, just thanking my lucky stars that I wore black trousers! There was still a niggling thought in the back of my mind, along with a few sporadic sharp pains across my back, 'what if this is actually it' so I told the hubs to get a cooked chicken for dinner tonight as I didn't feel like cooking. When we got to the till I left the Hubs and Squidge packing and paying whilst I nipped to the loo to see what was going on, and finally admitted when I stopped to see that actually my trousers were soaking and water was coming out constantly that OK, my waters had broken!
Whilst walking out of the supermarket, hubs was moaning at something on the receipt, so I proceeded to tell him to shut up and stop moaning, you don't hear me moaning even though my waters broke half an hour ago! (I blame the hormones). Oh, so we are having a baby!!!! I could see he wasn't quite sure if he should believe me seeing as I had just carried on shopping without saying a word, and I'm not normally one to keep quiet!
We made our way home, phoned the midwife and let my friend (doula) know, but nothing was really happening contractions wise as they had died down so no rush with anything.
Squidge had her dinner, I bounced on my ball, Hubs cleaned. No further contractions.
Squidge had her bath, gave me her last kisses as an only child and went to bed. No further contractions.
We ate dinner, spoke to the midwife who said she might pop over just to check everything was OK. No further contractions.
Midwife came at about 11pm, checked everything was OK, said baby had now moved back to back which would explain why my back was aching a little bit, but just to have a warm bath and the other midwife will come in the morning. No further contraction.
Midwife walked out of the door, I climb into a warm bath, then bang, contractions every 5 minutes......... you would think that maybe we might call someone or start to fill the pool, but no, even though I could barely speak in between contractions we still thought we were a while off. Eventually we both agreed that actually I was in full blown labour and made the calls.
My doula arrived at 1.15am to find me half naked in the conservatory in a foul mood waiting for my pool to fill up, she immediately applied a cold compression to my head and instantly I felt better, I felt calmer, in control, stopped feeling sick and thought I can do this.
15 minutes later the midwife arrived, and whilst she was unpacking her car and writing notes I felt a change, I suddenly had no control over my body and a force rushed through my body making me grunt in an almost tribal way as I pushed. I let myself go and just went with it. The body is an amazing thing and knows exactly what to do and when to do it, I just had to trust it.
So there I was, on a sofa in the conservatory, upside down, pushing. All I could feel was this amazing sensation of calm, I could almost visualise my baby as she made her way out, I could sense exactly where she was with every push, refusing all gas and air, I wanted to feel everything, it felt amazing. I pushed out my beautiful baby girl weighing 8lb 3oz at 1.45am on 9th July 2011 at home (didn't quite make it to the pool)
What an amazing and beautiful birth.
By 4am me, hubs and mush were tucked up in bed. By 8am Squidge joined us with a big kiss for her baby sister.

                                                        Dada's first look at his little girl

                                                  My amazing Friend/Photographer/Doula

                                                                Tucked up in bed

                                                                       First meeting

My beautiful family <3

Hello Little Girl

Hello my little girl. When was the last time I stopped and looked at you, I mean really looked at you. So much as gone on in our lives in the past few months that I have forgotten to sit back and stare at this wonderful creature that I made.
So often I am too busy being taken aback by your intelligence and creativeness, I am too breath taken by your exploding personality and playful outlook on life, I am too occupied with your overwhelming beauty and astonishing brown eyes that I miss the little things (or not as the case may be)......
like your feet, as I hold them in my hand to kiss every last little toe, I wonder, when did they get so big? when did that tiny little foot outline that used to stick out of my belly grow out of their 4th pair of shoes?
That fleshy little bum, when did it become so cute and rounded, when did that skinny, bony little butt that I used to tap when it will still curled up inside my tummy become so perfect and squishy?
As you cuddle up to me pushing your curly golden locks into my face, when did your hair become so thick and smell so captivating? When did that bald little head that burst into my life only 21 months ago become so full of beautiful silky hair?

You really are so beautiful, you will never know how happy and complete you have made my life, and somehow I have managed it again with your stunning little sister.
My promise to myself, I will try to stop during the little everyday things to take it all in, not to miss a single bit of watching you grow. So the next time I cut your nails, try not to get cross with me if I take my time and plant kisses onto your chubby little fingers and trace along the creases of your hand. Its only because your wonderful x x x

oooooops sorry!!

Wooooooaaaaahhhhhhh there where the hell have i been????????
Forgive me blogging for its been 6 months since my last confession!!!
In my defence I've been very busy, but that's no excuse, it can take 5 minutes for a little blog (which is all i have time for today as nap time is drawing to an end)
So here's a quick catch up. Last time we spoke I was pregnant, I carried on being pregnant, then I became even more pregnant, and then I was VERY pregnant! then finally at 42 weeks I gave birth to a dark haired beauty at home with her big sister tucked up in bed upstairs, this will be blogged at some point (with piccys!!) Hubs had to return to work after a week and practically disappeared for a month due to the London riots (hubs works for the riot squad) So me and the girls were left alone in a bubble of exhaustion, but something wasn't right, something I couldn't put my finger on, i was tired, yes I know id just had a baby and had a very energetic 18 month old and a hubby stuck at work sleeping over, but it was more than that, turns out that i had an infection from the birth, which we found out at 6 weeks (on our wedding anniversary!) so had to spend my first night away from my little squidge as I was kept in hospital, having not had more than a couple of hours away from her for the whole 18 months of her life and one of the reasons for a home birth was to avoid being away from her, I was gutted to be finally torn away as me and bubby were tucked up in our private hospital room (another reason why breastfeeding rocks - ur own room!) The difference after the infection went was amazing, i felt a new lease of life, i had energy to zip around after my ever faster toddler with bubby tied around my waist. We are all poorly at the moment though, both my girls have colds and I've got tonsillitis so having a day wrapped up at home ........ sorry i hear a HI MUMMY from upstairs, nap times over x x x

Slacking !

So I've been a bit slack lately with my blogging, in my defence I've been a very busy girl, aside from the fact that i'm 26 or 28 weeks pregnant (? that's another blog)

I've had the squidge's first birthday where lots of fun was had by all,

a holiday in Lanzarote

Squidges first steps !! and trying to organize a move possibly to the other side of the world in 10 months and moving house in 3 weeks - so very busy and great excuses I think!

Lately we have been involved in a swirl of first birthday parties, many babies from my ante natal classes and baby groups have been turning the big 1 ....... and boy does Squidge love a party.

I have loved nothing more than to watch her for 2 hours having the ultimate fun,

surrounded by other babies babbling away

excitedly playing with all the toys and games

fluttering her eyelids at every adult as they coo at her, and when that cake comes out her eyes light up

and those chubby little fingers grasping it as she devours it in seconds with a look of pleasure on her face.

I could not enjoy being a mama any more than I do at the moment, my heart just swells when I see her so happy

My beautiful little girl

Birthday Girl

So today was my squidge's birthday - One years old !!!!!

We celebrated with a fantastic party the day before, which she shared with 2 of her friends with birthdays around the same time (share the costs and the workload!!)

Lots of fun was had by all

Squidge got to wear her new party dress, designer don't you know (brought on ebay for just over £2 - Bargain!)

But things got a bit too much for an overtired squidge but she was determined to eat some birthday cake no matter how tired she was

And today after a morning of opening presents

we took squidge out and about, visiting the Packhouse Antique House, so squidge can see the shinys, a walk round the garden centre to see and shout out FISH.

We attempted a trip swimming but the crowds on a Sunday were a bit too much for us, so we gave it a miss and opted for a walk round Guildford, with a stop off for an egg sandwich.

When we came home we had a little picnic of treats and snacks for afternoon tea in the middle of the lounge with bubbles

topped off with Squidges favourite dinner of spag bowl

and a bath with our new bath toys before bed.

A successful 1st Birthday

Happy Birthday Gorgeous x x x x

Seriously ............. Already ????

Ok, so hormones are funny things, after my rant the other day of no more kids, I already want another one!!!
I'm 5 months pregnant with number 2 and already have number 3 lined up, what is wrong with me ???? how can I forget the 4 months of sickness and the headaches, cramps and tiredness?
Having mentioned this to hubs, I received a few raised eyebrows and a 'lets wait and see'
But after that one, that's my lot ......... honest !

Note to future self ...............

Pregnancy is crappy!!!!! 2 babies will surely be enough!

So when at some point in the future, which I'm sure it will, I start craving those chubby little fingers, start to miss the adoring looks you get when breast feeding and wish to feel the little kicks inside my belly, maybe I will read this and remember .......... 15 weeks of morning sickness so bad I could barely drag myself out of bed, at week 19 I feel so huge, the stomach cramps and headaches are driving me mad and even when the squidge lets me have a full nights sleep (which for the past 3 nights she has been doing her best to oblige, if only it wasn't for that stupid cough of hers that keeps waking the poor darling up), I still feel so knackered! I'm only half way through and I've still have to go through labour ........ Those darn hormones make you forget, but its crappy crappy crappy ! (the prize at the end is nice though)