Thursday, 27 January 2011

What a week !!!

On an exciting note Ive booked us a relaxing week away for the end of February, a birthday present for myself and the squidge, a chance to get some sun and for squidge to indulge in her favourite past time everyday for a week, swimming! to see those little legs go in the water is quite something !
My older sister is also making plans to come home, for the past 6 years she has been living in Bermuda having the time of her life but she has now decided to come in September and I cant wait. Ive missed her but thanks to the wonders of the web cam it hasn't been to bad. We often set up the camera and just go about our day with the other in the background, shopping online together "ooooh look at this top", "what do you think of this dress", we have managed to keep up the vital parts of a sisters relationship (shopping and gossip) through the virtual world and it has worked, certainly for us at least, though she did find it hard not being here when I had squidge, she surprised me with a visit when I was pregnant as we both thought it wouldn't of been right if she had never of seen me pregnant, and she was over 6 weeks after squidge was born. I try to email her piccy's and videos of squidge as well but nothing beats having her home.
But this week has also been filled with a lot of pain, literally !! Being incredibly dippy (I'm blaming the pregnancy brain) I turned up for what I thought was a dentist appointment, I did think it was a bit odd that it was at the hospital, started getting a bit panicky when they led me to a bed and asked me to put a gown on! Turns out that I was having a cyst from behind my jaw bone removed, They even had to cut away a bit of the bone! (does that grow back?) So the joys of being pregnant means no pain killers afterwards, so have spent the past few days mumbling through a swollen face! Then to top it all off, a fall down the stairs last night, luckily not landing or hitting the bump but landing with a thump on my coccyx, something I never knew existed until the pain hit me, ouch! and apparently they take weeks to get better once bruised.
 So am feeling very sorry for myself, but luckily hubs is off work at the moment, so as I lie awkwardly on the sofa, day dreaming about my week in the sun whilst squidge is tucked up in bed, he is busy in the kitchen cooking me his one dish, spag bowl

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Duck !!!

My gorgeous bundle of snuggles has learnt a new word courtesy of dada, the word Duck !!
Hubs has been boasting of teaching her duck for her rubber duckies every time he baths her, I have heard her say it, but thought she was just copying dada, but whilst out shopping I found a pink rubber ducky that I held up to show squidge, and much to my delight she shouted DUCK and grabbed it off me, obviously after that I had to buy it for her.

Squidge has been pretty good with talking, she shouts and babbles constantly!! which can sometimes not be a good thing, especially when I was suffering from pregnancy headaches in the first trimester !
Apart from the obvious mama and dada, and when she looks in the mirror, baba, Squidge can say juice (sounds a bit more like jussssssssss) every time she wants her drink during grub time and Ta when you pass her things (manners cost nothing) but now Duck! Slightly tempted to buy her a real one for her birthday next month but think that might be a bit extreme, hmmmmmmm, will mull it over !

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

23 weeks and counting.............

I know, I know, I've got ages yet, but a girl can never be too prepared, besides, this pregnancy seems to be flying by. When I was pregnant with the squidge, days, hours even minutes dragged, I so longed to meet her, just to hold her. Number 2 is in no way less special but squidge keeps me company whilst we are waiting for her, and time flies when your having fun. I seem to be more focused on how quickly squidge is growing up, I'm in the process of arranging her 1st birthday party next month ! I can't believe my baby is going to be 1.


One thing I do want to be different this time round is the birth. I know the most important thing is the outcome, a healthy, beautiful baby girl, but I would love to have a more relaxing labour, a natural and exciting event without unnecessary intervention like before. When pregnant with the squidge I was diagnosed as (borderline) gestational diabetes (something that I will be likely to get this time round as well) so because of this, I was in and out of hospital every other week for scans, blood tests etc, and had to prick my finger four times a day. I managed to control the diabetes through diet, I watched what I ate, made sure I stuck to the script.

With their constant scanning, they discovered that squidge was going to be a big baby, estimated at 9lb, which is pretty big when your only 5 foot. I had requested a water birth but was told that I wasn't allowed and when my waters broke at 38 weeks, I came into hospital and was practically tied to the bed, lying on my back for 2 days. Having been told I had to have hormones injected to speed along labour (as they needed the bed) and told to have a (very painful) epidural (which slows down labour), which when I refused at first, was made to feel like the worst mother on earth and they then proceeded to ask me every 10 minutes if I was going to have it yet, and finally said that I will probably be having a cesarean soon, so if I didn't have the epidural now then I would have to be put under when my baby was being born, I finally gave in. I then gave birth to my squidge with the help of a ventouse as they had seen from the scans that she had a massive head, weighing in at a whopping 5'13oz with the smallest head ever????? She was so tiny, even early baby clothes didn't fit her.

I felt so ill after giving birth, was throwing up when I should of been holding and feeding my baby, I begged them to take the wires out of my back and arms, when they finally did I instantly felt better.

I had my beautiful baby girl but felt so traumatised by the unnecessary intervention, I could of had my drug free water birth. I needn't of had stitches (I had to have some as the Dr accidentally caught me with the ventouse).

So this time, things are going to be different, I'm going to take back some control, I've done my research and I feel strong enough to stick up for myself and say what I want. I would never put my baby at risk and know that a home water birth is more likely to have a smoother, calmer outcome. A calmer happier mama is what a baby needs during labour and means squidge can be part of it all. Hubs is behind me one hundred percent and with friends support we are hoping to have our dream birth.

So here I am contemplating which pool to buy and day dreaming about my beautiful birth which I hope to share with you in approximately 23 weeks. Fingers crossed x x

Daddy's Girl

Today me and squidge went to the gym, thankfully due to the circles I move in nowadays, that doesn't mean a room full of sweaty bodies cycling and lifting weights to pounding music, but a padded gymnasium with bouncy castle, broom brooms and laughing children.


I couldn't believe how much squidge loved it, especially when she discovered the wall of mirrors, where she was able to spend a good 20 minutes staring at herself, telling herself how beautiful she is and the occasional snog with herself, she obviously takes after her dada there!


And now I have one tired little girl on my hands, who in theory should sleep like a log tonight, but since dada's been away she has been a bit of a monkey at night. Its strange but I love the fact that shes a daddy's girl, I do the hard work and he gets all the glory, but that's how every little girl should be with their dada and I love nothing more than watching the 2 of them together, my little family x x

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Morning Time

Good morning world!!!!
What a beautiful grey morning it is, the suns not shining, the wind is blowing and life is great .......... this is the first morning I have had to myself in such a long time and I am slightly concerned about how happy I am about it!! I love hubby and my squidge so much, but sometimes its great to be just me. Don't get me wrong, hubs has taken off with squidge many a time first thing in the morning and let me have a 'do not disturb' sign up on my bedroom door, but that's sleeping, catching up on the all important zzzz's is a necessity, not always a pleasure! No this morning, I have been treated to an over tired hubs and squidge, so they are still tucked up in bed and I for once am not so exhausted that I have to join them, I am up, wrapped up in hubs dressing gown, tapping away and drinking coffee!!  


Ahhhhhhhh my beloved coffee, for 3 months now not a drop of it has passed my lips, not through choice, although I'm sure many a mum will frown and tut at the idea of caffeine and pregnancy, but sorry not me, would sup on the black stuff daily through out my first pregnancy and wash down the occasional dinner with a glass of red, but this time I couldn't face anything !!! no wine, no coffee, no hot drinks in general, but for the first time in ages, i craved a morning coffee and I sure feel good about that.


Squidge slept in her room last night, she has been in with us since we moved to our new place in Oct, we went from a 3 bed to a 2, not your usual move I know, especially when 4 days after moving you find out number 2 is on its way, but the move was from a stunning bungalow in a beautiful quiet village, with my dream kitchen with own aga and larder, but it was too far for hubs to get to work, we had fallen in love with the house when we had moved in 4 months previous and thought we could make it work, but with a 2 hour commute to work and as hubs works such long shifts anyway it was proving impossible for him to watch squidge grow up, it just wasn't the lifestyle for us. But as I'm sure you all know, the closer to London you move, and if we wanted to move back to where my mummy friends where, the more expensive things got, but we were lucky enough to find a gorgeous little white cottage in a quaint little village right where we wanted to live, within walking distance to a train station for hubs, and a 5 min drive into town for coffee with the mamas for me, perfect, but only 2 bedrooms!!! now I don't mind squidge and number 2 sharing, especially considering 2 will be in with us for a while first of all, but we had another guest, ferret! my baby brother (actually he's 2 years older than me, but still he's my baby brother) who was 'temporarily' staying with us for a couple of weeks, which turned into 6 months, but finally he has moved out, I will miss him, he kept me company many evenings as hubs was working stupid shifts, but it is so nice to have my little family back, and my bedroom back !!!



The squidge and I had a day out yesterday with the mamas whilst hubs had a well deserved day off, kicking back with the xbox! But not before doing my one request of moving squidges cot into her new room. Upon our return home we found hubs on the xbox as predicted, murmuring to myself with no faith than he had managed to move the cot at all, only to be surprised at how a man who claims to have no creativity in him at all, who follows life by the labels (he struggles to do anything without the instructions, something I could never do, so I guess we even each other out there) He had created a pink, butterfly extravaganza for the squidge, her own beautiful little hideaway, with pictures artfully scattered on the wall, butterfly's and sparkly birds hanging from string held up by fairy's, hearts floating on the wall and teddies huddled together on a small white wicker basket, even framed pictures on the windowsill, and every single bit of it childproofed for the little crawler! A tear almost came to my eye at how beautiful it was and at how much love and attention he had put in to it, reminding me that she is his world as well as mine, and that maybe, just maybe someone else could love the squidge just as much as me. not even I could blame the tears on hormones and pregnancy, although i did.

Wednesday, 5 January 2011

First Time Blogger

Evening All, I'm afraid you will have to bare with me as this is my first EVER blog !
My spelling and grammar are very poor so i apologise in advance, ooooh look theres a spell check, phew !


I suppose I should tell you a bit about myself seeing as you are about to take my blogging cherry!
I have a beautiful baby girl who is currently 10 months old, and I am 4 months pregnant with number 2, who is supposedly another girl ! I am married to a character from a mills and boons, tall, dark and handsome with a bum to die for.
Hubby is finally home and has brought in the cheese and crackers, so before I smear any more butter over the keyboard i will leave the rest for another day, i will keep this blog like most first times, quick but hopefully curious enough to leave you wanting more